More than likely you and a few chosen people are the only ones that know about your abortion. Despite the best intentions for the reason one chose abortion, the effects afterward can "haunt" as one would put it.

Consider the following scenario:

> A woman faced with a crisis pregnancy experiences a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety about her situation, and she seeks a fast solution to her dilemma. Since abortion is legally and socially sanctioned, it is the choice she is likely to make, even though she may be violating her own moral code in doing so. Immediately after the procedure, she will usually feel profound relief that the crisis is over, for better or worse.  But any moral struggle she felt prior to the abortion will resurface eventually, at which point she will question her decision.

Does this describe you or someone you know? Research has found that abortion can be responsible for a profound array of long-term emotional disturbances in a woman's life. Psychologist are using the term "post abortion syndrome" (PAS) to describe a woman's inability to: 1) process the fear, anger, sadness and guilt surrounding her abortion experience, 2) grieve the loss of her baby, and 3) come to peace with God, herself and others involved in the abortion decision.

The following symptoms will not necessarily appear at the same time, nor is any woman likely to experience the entire list. Some may occur immediately after an abortion, and other much later (even 5-20 years). However, if three or more of the symptoms listed below describe what you have been going through recently, chances are you are experiencing PAS.

1) Guilt- is what an individual feels when she has violated her own moral code.

2) Anxiety- defined as an unpleasant emotional and physical state of apprehension.

3) Psychological "numbing"- a person who has experienced a highly painful loss will develop an instinct to avoid future situations that might lead to serious pain again.

4) Depression and thought of suicide- the sense of utter futility and a complete inability to experience pleasure form any source. The following are some examples:

Sad mood

Sudden and uncontrollable crying episodes

Deterioration of self-concept

Sleep, appetite and sexual disturbances

Reduced motivation

Disruption in interpersonal relationships

Thoughts of suicide

5) Anniversary syndrome - there tends to be an increase of PAS symptoms around the time of the anniversary of the abortion and/or the due date of the aborted child

6) Re-experiencing the abortion - a very common event described by postabortion women is the sudden distressing, recurring flashbacks of the abortion episode.

7) Preoccupation with becoming pregnant again - a significant percentage of all woman who abort become pregnant within one year of their abortion (generally the concept is the unconscious hope that a new pregnancy will serve as a replacement for the one that was aborted).

8) Anxiety over fertility and childbearing issues - some postabortion women maintain a fear that they will never become pregnant again or never be able to carry a pregnancy to term.

9) Interruption of the bonding process with present and/or future children - she may not allow herself to become properly bonded to another pregnancy because of a fear of loss, as explained above.

10) Survival guilt - most women don't abort for trivial reasons. They find themselves in the midst of a heartbreaking situation. However in the end, the decision boils down to a sorrowful "it's me or you, and I choose me." In an attempt to assuage the guilt of being the survivor, some women will enter a heightened and unrealistic compensation mode whereby they attempt to atone for the selfish choice.

11) Development of eating disorders

12) Alcohol and drug use - often used to serve initially as a form of self-medication and a way of coping with the pain of the abortion memories.

13) Other self-punishing or self-degrading behaviors - in addition to eating disorders and substance abuse, the postabortion woman may also enter into abusive relationships, become promiscuous, fail to take care of herself medically, or deliberately hurt herself emotionally and/or physically

Recommended Reading: No One Told Me I Could Cry by Connie Nykiel

A Solitary Sorrow (Finding Healing & Wholeness after Abortion) by Teri Reisser, M.S., M.F.T. with Paul Reisser,M.D.