"Keep them busy doing positive things.  Teens have wonderful energy and enthusiasm so channel it in positive ways such as volunteering, etc."

SPECIFIC ACTIVITIES:

1.      If your child has a difficult time bringing up their questions, have them write them down.

2.      Teach them the HALTS concept.  Don’t make any decisions when your are: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, or Sad.  (This works great for parents, too!)

3.      Have your child list the qualities of a good friend and seek those friends. (Peer selection is critical)

4.      Go on a weekend retreat or a special day together.  A book called, Preparing for Adolescence, by Dr. James Dobson would be very helpful.

5.      Have your child write a short paper on their ideal marriage partner.  Read and discuss the paper together.  Their dates should have those same positive qualities. (Peer selection is vital!)  Remind them that eventually people marry someone they dated.

6.      Help them to take part in activities.  Keep them busy doing positive things.  Teens have wonderful energy and enthusiasm so channel it in positive ways such as volunteering, etc.

7.      Help them to learn to be good at something, such as sports, band, yearbook, 4-H …so they may have a sense of pride in themselves, as well as the activity.

8.      Practice refusal skills and comebacks to pressure lines that they may hear. (see our list of suggestions) 

9.      Be affectionate with your teen but let them know that NO ONE other than the doctors are to touch them in areas a bathing suit covers.  Talk about sexual abuse and date rape. Parents, familiarize yourself with the date rape drug and ways to prevent this from happening. 

10.  Teach them refusal skills. You can use the N.I.C.E. method

No, not “maybe” or “later”. Teach your teen to set boundaries and be decisive. If your teen decides to not have sex before they are confronted by pressure to have sex, it will be easier to say “no” when the situation arises.

I statement, i.e. “I plan to wait unitl I’m married before I have sex”. Or, I feel uncomfortable when you________”

Change  Teach your teen to change the topic of the situation

Exit  They should leave the situation immediately. If they don’t have a way home, they will need you or some other adult that they trust to pick them up. Decide on a “code-phrase” like “Is that the dog barking?” which means “come and pick me up and hurry!”

11.  Write them notes of encouragement.  Put them in a pocket, bathroom mirror, car lunch, book overnight bag, or gym bag.

12.  Read, The Five Love Languages For Teenagers, by Gary Chapman and discover your child's love language.